Autism and Alienation

CW: Ableism, Genocide mention, Talk about social alienation.

Disclaimer: This is only a short piece of work that shows the issues of our society in regards to Neurodivergent people. It is in no way meant to be a complete or comprehensive work.

I am no stranger to social alienation. As an Autistic person I have felt alienated from many groups and most of society for basically all of my life. My social history can best be summarized as me stumbling from one social group into another. That is not to say that I cannot form lasting friendships with other people but rather that it is extremely difficult for me to "fit in" many social groups. Ranging from small friends groups to activism groups, from societal institutions to hobby groups. Alienation and the loneliness that it entails are second nature to me at this point.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that I am not very happy with this. Despite my difficulties with bonding with people and forming meaningful relationships with others I do feel the urge to socialize with other people. However every time I try to enter a new social group, whether it be an informal group like a friend group or a more formal one, like a job or an activist group, there is a bigger chance that I will fail in connecting with that group then me actually being able to make some new friends out of it. 

In all honesty I am not a 100% sure on why this is but I do have a few ideas on why this happens. I am hoping that by writing this I can maybe shed some light on this and maybe also help others who are in a similar situation to me in this regard. 

1. Autism in a neurotypical world

Most Autistic people are ostracized from certain aspects of society one way or another. Of course this differs from person to person but generally speaking do Autistic people have certain traits that make social interaction in general a lot more difficult for us. 

- Lack of a filter
We often lack something called a filter. A Neurotypical(or Allistic if you are old fashioned) person can walk into a very noisy room, walk to the tray filled with Paprika chips and just focus on getting some yummy chips without much issues. They can usually filter out the surrounding environment around them.

Sounds, smell, sights, textures but also our internal emotions, our internal feelings. These are all stimuli that we experience in our daily life. They help us navigate our world and tell us what we should do or how we should feel. A Neurotypical usually has a filter that allows them to discard the unnecessary stimuli or information they don't need. Most Autistic people on the other hand however do not. For us every input, every stimuli hits like a sledgehammer. We have no way of filtering or even arranging all the information we take in every second. The result is often.... overwhelming. It drains through our emotional batteries in a very short time period and often we need a longer time afterwards to recover. I am almost always tired or fatigued one way or another because of this. This also limits me in my activities, I rarely go out because the potential enjoyment I could get by going out is meager in comparison to the huge amount of energy it costs me to even tolerate such a night. As you can imagine this makes living life in this way very exhausting and difficult.

- Difficulties reading social cues
In our world we often rely on social cues to know how someone else feels. Things like body language and intonation are often cues which tell us what someone's mood is or what the mood of a room is. This extends beyond basic emotion reading, in our society there are many untold/unwritten social constructs which instructs us how to act in a certain situation or what is or is not appropriate. This differs from culture to culture but there are some general rules that people expect each other to adhere to. This can range from basic things like expecting people to look you in the eye when you talk to them to more complex things like phone call etiquette or navigating a bureaucratic process. In my experience are most of these social constructs obstructive or illogical, existing purely to satisfy some need and because the untold consensus of the neurotypical majority tells us that they should exist.

We often run into issues navigating this maze of social cues and constructs. Since we cannot really know how to act in certain situations "naturally"(using HUGE air quotes here since it implies that what Neurotypical people do should be the norm, something I vehemently disagree with) we often have to learn by mimicry. Observe how others navigate a social situation or read on how to deal with an institution and learn from that. When we first start however we often stumble on this and often give other people the appearance of making a fool of ourselves. I can tell more then a few stories on how I became the "village idiot". Due to the way our society work, people are often shamed for their past actions. This is especially common during childhood where one wrong remark or one mental breakdown or fit of anger can mean years of bullying or social alienation. 

- Difficulties expressing ourselves
Finally and probably most importantly, we often have issues expressing ourselves. Turning our emotions and thoughts into coherent words and sentences is often very difficult to near impossible. This is only compounded in the case of non verbal Autistic people(whose needs are often unheard off in the Autistic sphere). This often gives us the reputation of being cold or lacking empathy but nothing could be further from the truth. 

One of the major traits we have is having major difficulties recognizing our own needs or our own emotional desires. This is something I find very difficult to explain but I personally always had issues really assigning words to what I feel or what I am thinking. I can recognize hunger of course or think about what I want to do but other feelings are more complicated. Whenever I see someone attractive I am often unsure if I am in love with them or if I want to share my bed with them(or both). Working out my thoughts is also difficult. I often have major issues turning my creative visions into something more tangible because I often don't know how to achieve something or do something in a way that works for me. This also often translates with computer software where the user interface of a piece of software can make or break me. All of this makes working a "professional" job very difficult for me(not for lack of trying mind you).

2. How society keeps us down

Our world is filled with preconceptions and societal constructs through which we must all navigate. Unfortunately this often means that the "norms" are set by Neurotypical or non Autistic people, norms that can be extremely difficult to near impossible to navigate for us. 

I do want to note that I doubt that there will ever be a society perfectly tailored for Neurodivergent people and I think that improving society is an effort that should come from both Neurotypical and Neurodivergent people. I also want to note that although it is 60 years too late, I have seen minor improvements regarding accommodation of Neurodivergent folk so it is not all doom and gloom. 

With that in mind there are still too many aspects of life from which Autistic folk like myself are alienated from and where improvement is highly needed, especially in the "professional" field. 

Sadly we live in a capitalist society and like many people who know me are aware, I am not the biggest fan of this. Capitalism as a socio-economic system is a system that determines the worth of your value based on your production or your accumulation of wealth. As a result if you fall out of the preconceived notions as envisioned by the systems and institutions that rule our society, you are fresh out of luck. While both Liberal and Conservative politicians and other individuals have in the past often made minor improvements, they have never given Autistic or Neurodivergent people the true freedom to determine our own destiny and live our life in the way that would work best for us. It has always been instead trying to fit us into the pre-existing system, an effort that can best be metaphorically explained as trying to jam a square block into a round hole.

As a result many Neurodivergent people often feel like they do not belong in our society. I have often heard of other Autistic people referring to themselves as "being trapped on an alien world" and I myself have also often felt like this. I consider myself to be very lucky to have grown up in a country where there was at least something of a social safety net and a former welfare state to lessen the blow of this reality somewhat. While I am very thankful to the Dutch socialist and other left wing governments that existed in the time period from 1950-1980 for making these laws that prevent me from starving, I can honestly say that being able to just survive is not enough. I want to live. 

The only solution to this current predicament is a drastic reevaluation of our society. Every aspect of it, from top to bottom will need to be looked at and changed into something more palatable to Neurodivergent people. Another thing that is needed are Neurodivergent people explaining in very clear terms the things they run into in our society and offering alternatives to this, only through education can we expect help from the Neurotypicals(hence why I am writing this article). Although the far right often attracts disgruntled white Autistic people to their side, they have no intention to changing society in any way that could be beneficial to Autistic or other Neurodivergent people. On the contrary I consider it to be very likely that many of us will go the same road the victims of "Aktion T4" went when the Nazis came to power in 1933. I would urge any right wing(or liberal) Autistic person who could potentially be reading this to reconsider in this regard. Instead something more radical is needed. 

Similar to how we must fight racism where it exists and how we must defend queer people and fight for queer rights, so to must we fight for the rights of Neurodivergent and disabled people. It is only by showing that we can change society for the better of us all that we can live better lives and let more people blossom into their full potential. Although many grassroots Socialist/Communist/Anarchist organizations have made strides in this regard, there is still a lot of room for improvement. In my(admittedly limited) personal experiences are too many of these organizations too involved with reacting to injustice or fighting among themselves too really feel welcoming for Autistic people. Don't get me wrong, I do think that they are doing good work and that what they do is important but there is a lot that still needs to be done. The construction of activities or workplaces specifically tailored to Neurodivergent needs could be very helpful in this regard(provided it is done with the consent of Neurodivergent people). Nothing about us, without us.

3. Summary

Our world contains too many societal constructs which makes life for Neurodivergent people near impossible. This is due to many traits Neurodivergent people have but also the way Neurotypical people do things is seen as the norm. Only through grassroots activism, Neurodivergent education and the construction of dual power structures tailored for Neurodivergent people can this change. All aspects of society will have to be checked from top to bottom and be made more accessible for Neurodivergent people where needed. Education is key in this, Neurodivergent and Neurotypical people will need to come together and follow Neurodivergent educators. 

Thank you for reading this short essay.

Best wishes in solidarity,

Pim